Have you heard about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? laid awake all night wondering if there really is a dog!

I think I want a job cleaning mirrors… it’s just something I see myself doing!!

I got a chance to conduct an orchestra today. Had more fun than you can shake a stick at.

Four great religious truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God’s Chosen People.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

♤♡◇♧◇♡♤♡◇♧◇♡♤♡◇♧◇♡♤♡◇♧◇♡♤♡◇♧◇♡♤

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl who had just started to read her book replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh I don’t know,” said the atheist, “how about why there is no God or no life after death”, as he smiled smugly?

“OK,” she said, “those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff, grass, yet the deer excretes little pellets while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies “do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God or life after death when you don’t know crap?”

And then she went back to reading her book.