Several have asked me recently about the term “shadow self,” and what that term actually means. I will try but it’s hard without sounding like total psycho-bable:)

The shadow-self is the disowned part of self that we are unwilling to acknowledge as “me.” This denied image may be very negative or very positive. The negative-self we deny because it’s too bad to ever be me and the positive-self is too good to ever be me. Let me also say that in reality there is no such thing as a shadow self, you are one as He is one, but the shadow represents the part of us, that we don’t want to acknowledge. We just use the term “shadow” to shine a light on something well hidden and this terminology helps us see through our blindness. Carl Jung, an analytical physiologist first coined the term in the early 1900’s.

Since we deny and disown these shadow parts, we project them onto others and encounter them as things we despise about another. One of the best ways to recognize our shadow and get to know it, is to look for the things that we find most annoying, irritating or upsetting.

Our first response will usually be “that’s not me!” “I am not like that!!” However a failure to embrace one’s shadow compromises all subsequent development possibilities. Like Peter, it’s easy to say “I will never deny you,” until you do. This smallness has been part of Peter all along, he just denied it by presenting himself as the “bad-ass” disciple. Peter had refused to listen to Jesus all along the journey as Jesus pointed to this shadow-self within Peter. Jesus knew exactly what was the other face of this man, and that the “I will never deny you!” was revealing a hidden and very weak man.

Many who confront their shadow never move beyond it because they seek only to eliminate it, as opposed to acknowledge its actually part of them. We tend to choose the easier issues of our life to focus on which prevents wholeness. Because we view these problems as things to be eliminated, or personal issues we keep running up against, we never recognize how these issues represent real parts of us so we don’t learn the lessons they can teach us.

Until we acknowledge our shadow parts, we will not awaken to the fact the shadow is being cast from us, not onto us. Until we recognize this, we will continue to struggle with anger, bitterness, and depression for we will we will not recognize the face of our disowned self nor the consequences of this ongoing investment in denial and avoidance. I’ll continue tomorrow.