I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain

Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before..

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

There are more men than women in mental hospitals… which just goes to show who’s driving who crazy. Russ Lewis

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know… RL

I’m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I’ll never ever use one again. I’m so excited about it. Yes.

I hate people who speak for other people, and so do you.
RL

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
RL

When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef…
Wayne Card

Complex problems often have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
Mike Carter

Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Mike Carter