Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Russ Lewis

People who live in glass houses are one busted water-main away from People who live in aquariums.
RL

The first rule of “Condescending Club” is really kinda complex and I don’t think you’d understand it even if I explained it to you.
RL

There are two words in a person’s life that will open a lot of doors for them… PULL and PUSH

It’s all very well in practice, but it will never work in theory.

Thank you for calling the hug hotline. Please hold.
RL

What if there’s no such thing as the Placebo Effect, and instead, sugar just actually cures everything?
RL

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you’ve lost is a normal pigeon.

I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

The whole US Postal service is a fraud! There’s no way a letter can get from one place to another, because envelopes …

… are stationary.

It helps to be an enlightened mail.

NmmThere was this man working at a brick factory for years. Everyday he would leave with a wheelbarrow full of hay. The security guard would stop him, do a full search and find nothing.

Years later, the security guard saw the man and said, “I know you were smuggling something all those years, what was it?”
The man answered, “Wheelbarrows.”

I was so unpopular growing up, I had an imaginary bully…
Mike Carter

Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone at church…
RL

There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
RL

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? laid awake all night wondering if there really is a dog!

I had something witty to say. And now it’s gone. Oh well your loss.

Lol. Just musing. This may be the first time (exception JFK and LBJ) in a while when moving in to the White House is downsizing.