Christianity led me out of Christianity.

At the risk of sounding like I’m talking down or judging others (which I am not), Christianity CAN be a great conveyor belt. It was there that I learned from educators how to interpret the Bible using context, history, intention of the author, Greek and Hebrew, etc. But it was those exact tools that led me to discover that practically everything I ever heard in church wasn’t even in the Bible.

I was part of a charismatic stream that believed in healing, gifts, and the power of God, so I learned to flow in “the Spirit” in ministry by staying in tune with my heart. But it was that very presence of energy that I found that Qigong and healing energy practitioners participated successfully in.

While I learned to listen to God’s voice as a still small voice and in dreams and visions from the spontaneous non brain generated heart centered source, I eventually realized that it wasn’t an outside person speaking to me, but my own heart. That intuition that comes from our spirit/heart is connected to a universal field of awareness that everyone can tap into. Law of Attraction folks and even studies find everyone does this. We just had it repackaged for us as God speaking. But starting in church started the journey.

The emphasis that we placed on love as Jesus modeled, ie unconditional non-judgmental value of others without the need to control, became the very context to be able to explore truth beyond the boundaries of religion itself. This is why religion is afraid of love… it creates an environment where religious leadership loses its grip on individual’s and their journey. And the definition of a cult includes the fear motivation created to keep people from any ideas outside their own.

Eventually I saw that the christianity that claims to follow Jesus has been the source of wars, hatred and limitations for advancement in science etc from the start. Having a transgender child showed me that there really is more love in the world than in the church (though a lot of our christian friends were supportive). You should hear the horror stories in LGBT support groups.

By pastoring people of all ages and races I learned about community and stewarding relationships. Most people have their family as the group which challenges their rough edges, but imagine being “responsible” for a couple hundred people! That world helped me to grow and to learn leadership, but that also caused me to see that one cannot really lead an organization financially without playing the church game of nickels and noses. You have to stay within the lines where its not about truth, its about regurgitating in fresh ways what is already believed. In other words it gave me a first hand experience of learning the church will never, imo, be a context for truth seeking. Politics and expectations and money will always stifle it.

So I am thankful that the journey itself was indeed like a conveyor belt carrying me one moment at a time further. Does that mean that someone in church today is stupid? Not any more than I am right now compared to my future self. It is just a place and I dont think I could have made it here without being there first.

Some family and friends will not understand because they don’t yet have the framework to understand and that is not my problem. I can’t import into another the thousands of books I’ve read, the experiences I’ve had, the meanings I’ve seen and the conclusions I’ve come to. Every counseling session I did for others was really a learning experience for myself. So it is an impossibility for anyone to ever literally “understand” and that’s ok.

All these people now are asking me if I still believe in Jesus, like I have to fit into a category. Or assume I am an atheist if my beliefs about Jesus don’t fit theirs. I’m not really interested in being categorized, lol. My mission here on FB is just to get people to think/see something they may have missed before, and in so doing maybe they will go on their own journey of self and truth discovery because no one goes looking for answers to questions they aren’t asking. My goal isn’t to threaten your faith, but to clarify it by getting you to ask your own questions.

Blessings on your journey. Stay sincere. Enjoy the ride.

Chuck Crisco